Patience is a virtue

June 13, 2008

Ok, so I’m not trying to rant on the human race, but, ok, i am.

There’s just some funny things that people do that continue to humor me. Like last night, as I was leaving work, I’m walking past a bus stop and one of the ladies waiting for the bus is literally half way out into the road trying to see as far down the road as possible to see if there was a bus coming. Now, this is really the kettle callling the pot black, because I’ve done it too, but it just strikes me as funny. The truth of it is, when you look that far down the road, you might see a bus, but you can’t read the number so you still don’t know if it’s yours, and if it IS, seeing it half a mile away, isn’t going to get it to your stop any sooner than if you just saw it as it was pulling up. So why stress?? Might as well sit back, plug in your ear buds and count cars. Your bus will show at the exact time it does. (now THAT was profound) Willing it to appear around the corner will have little to do with it. The best part is, Vancouver transit is notorious for running behind so you might as well enjoy your extra few minutes of tardiness!

not-so-sweet dreams

May 5, 2008

It’s Monday morning, it’s pouring rain, and I’ve been sitting on my couch for half an hour, ready for work. Whay is this a problem? Well BECAUSE…it’s MONDAY MORNING…that’s an extra half hour of sleep I could’ve had. It was just one of those mornings where either, I dont care what I look like, or it was just easier to get ready. (I’m hoping for the latter) But my internal clock these days has really been annoying me. For about 4 mornings in a row about 2 wks ago, my lovely little pooch decided that she was going to start getting up at 6:30AM (which is utterly rediculous when I’m never up before 8:00AM). Completely random, we were still going to bed at the same time the previous night, still doing our usual outside runs, she was just on a mission. Finally, I broke the habit…but only with her it seems. To this day, I am waking up like clockwork at 6:44AM every morning. Now, granted, I can go back to sleep, but I’m really not a fan of having my beauty sleep disturbed…and some of you early morning callers have found that out the hard way! 😉 So now, not only am I waking up at 6:44 every morning without reason, I’m also popping wide awake at 7:49…11 minutes before my actual alarm. WHAT DOES A GIRL NEED TO DO TO GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP?!?!? lol

 

There…that’s my rant for the day!

 

🙂 

Rock Hard

April 27, 2008

This has got to be the craziest work out I have ever seen. You’ll get the gist of it in the first few mins but if you don’t want to watch the whole thing, at least fast forward to the last minute and a half and check out the determination of the chick in the white. These women are ANIMALS! I’m pretty sure this makes me a couch potato! LOL

Ode to The Man’s Man

April 13, 2008

to my non-metro sexual (you know who you are), this is for you… 😉

 

I‘m Still A Guy

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnics
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You’re probably thinking that you’re going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up oh but no matter what
remember I’m still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I’d like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain’t proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I’m still a guy

I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, “Yeah girls he’s come a long way”
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club
And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, now what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I’m still a guy

And I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tacklebox

Yeah with all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain’t plucked
There’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy

-Brad Paisley

Bizzy Beez

March 28, 2008

It’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I’m pretty sure I don’t really know how to do it anymore! Welcome to my crazy life. (or so I’d like to believe)

So what do I write about…

I could blog about the Canucks, but I’d have to censor my words too much. I could blog about my trip to Alaska, but all of you who care already know the details (blush) and have seen the pix so that would just be redundant. I could blog about the cutest dog in the world, but I’d probably lose all 3 of my devoted readers (smirk) so…what do I write…

Today I lived the stereotypical Vancouver life. Wait…check that… Not the “walk around the sea wall, take my dog to the park, shop at Granville Island” life, but rather the “hustle bustle commuting downtown worker”. As you know, I don’t work downtown, and there is good reason for that. I am NOT a fan of traffic, rushed business people and cement surroundings. But for 6 weeks every tax season, I spend one day a week doing on-site massage at a local accounting firm. So for one day a week for 6 weeks, I am that “hustle bustle commuting downtown business woman”. This is a lifestyle unique unto itself. My favorite part is the commuting. I caught the bus this morning at 7:30am in Richmond. The bus looked like this: Shoulder to shoulder business men and women all with their ipods securely fastened in their ears, travel mug or Starbucks in hand and the morning’s local news paper or whatever piece of literature has been chosen to put in the next 40 mins. No one acknowledges anyone else. You climb on the bus, look for the first available free seat, hit play on your ipod, and start reading and sipping.

Coming home is not so very different. Only your travel mug is now empty, you threw out your paper long ago, but your ipod is still blaring in your ears, you still acknowledge no one and rather than eagerly paging thru your choice of literature, you’re doing the “Night at the Roxbury” head bob as you fall asleep after your long and hectic day at the office. People seriously do this every day. Don’t you ever get tired of being anti social and untalkative? (is that a real word?) Whatever happened to meeting people on the subway…bus…whatever. LOL

Ahhh…life in the fast lane. Ain’t it grand? 🙂

In recognition of this wonderful day:

So the funniest part about these guys is they came over to NYC from New Zealand hoping to make it big as a rock band and failed miserably!! So they settled for a comedy band…I’d say they picked the right niche! 🙂

So here’s the question of the month…ok, so maybe just of the day…but, where in the world did DST come from and why the heck to we still live by it? We were contemplating this over pints (which of course is the ONLY way to contemplate things rationally) and Moira and I were convinced it dated back to the day of farmers and something to do with the fact that they needed more afternoon sun (for some unknown reason). And then the point was made that Saskatchewan (aka Farm Central) is the only province that doesn’t switch their clocks, so that sort of kiboshed the “farmer theory”. So back to my old trusted friend I went…Mr Wiki: (and i quote…)

Daylight saving time (DST) is the convention of advancing clocks so that afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less. Typically clocks are adjusted forward one hour near the start of spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Modern DST was first proposed in 1907 by William Willett. Many countries have used it since then; details vary by location and change occasionally.

The practice is controversial. Adding daylight to afternoons benefits retailing, sports, and other activities that exploit sunlight after working hours, but causes problems for farming, entertainment and other occupations tied to the sun. Extra afternoon daylight reduces traffic fatalities; its effect on health and crime is less clear. An early goal of DST was to reduce evening usage of incandescent lighting, formerly a primary use of electricity; modern heating and cooling usage patterns can cause DST to increase electricity consumption. 

Origin: 

Although not punctual in the modern sense, ancient civilizations adjusted daily schedules to the sun more flexibly than modern DST does, often dividing daylight into 12 equal hours regardless of day length, so that each daylight hour was longer during summer. For example, Roman water clocks had different scales for different months of the year: at Rome’s latitude the third hour from sunrise, hora tertia, started by modern standards at 09:02 solar time and lasted 44 minutes at the winter solstice, but at the summer solstice it started at 06:58 and lasted 75 minutes. After ancient times, equal-length civil hours eventually supplanted unequal, so civil time no longer varies by season. Unequal hours are still used in a few traditional settings, such as some Mount Athos monasteries.

During his time as an American envoy to France, Benjamin Franklin, author of the proverb, “Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”, anonymously published a letter suggesting that Parisians economize on candles by rising earlier to use morning sunlight. This 1784 satire proposed taxing shutters, rationing candles, and waking the public by ringing church bells and firing cannons at sunrise. Franklin did not propose DST; like ancient Rome, 18th-century Europe did not keep accurate schedules. However, this soon changed as rail and communication networks came to require a standardization of time unknown in Franklin’s day.

yadda yadda yadda…so there you have. Nothing much to do with farmers…in fact, sort of hinders them it would seem. Ah well, I learn something new every day! 🙂

Moving to Canada

March 5, 2008

hehe…to all my dear american friends… 

Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.
For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”
Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly similar to the one they live in now.
Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.
Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”
They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.
But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.
Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.
Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.
 

It has arrived…

February 28, 2008

Ok, so this might be a bit unusual/unnecessary to blog about, but I saw this commercial and literally started laughing out loud…

“Without a doubt, it is the most sophisticated piece of technology……..[dramatic pause]………..you will EVER pee on.”

 

I think the man that narrated this commercial had a secret desire to be just like David Caruso…

 

Signs and symptoms

February 27, 2008

I was driving home yesterday, on yet another gorgeous spring-like afternoon…smiling at the flowers starting to come up, the odd robin that’s made it’s way back, the buds on the trees, and as I pulled up to a stop sign, at a random pair of shoes thrown over the telephone wire. We’ve all seen it right? I’ve always had a little chuckle about who does that and HOW in the world do they do it, never really knowing if it had any significance of any kind. (Although, assuming it didn’t and that it was just some randoms having fun with too much spare time.) But my curiosity was really peaked this time as I sat and stared, maybe moreso this time because of how rediculously high these wires were and right smack dab in the middle of the intersection. So to Google I went….and this is what I found:

Shoes hung from overhead wires (“shoefiti”)

A number of sinister explanations have been proposed as to why this is done. Some say that shoes hanging from the wires advertise a local crack house where crack cocaine is used and sold (in which case the shoes are sometimes referred to as “Crack Tennies”). It can also relate to a place where Heroin is sold to symbolize the fact that once you take Heroin you can never ‘leave’: a reference to the addictive nature of the drug. Others claim that the shoes so thrown commemorate a gang-related murder, or the death of a gang member, or as a way of marking gang turf. A newsletter from the mayor of Los Angeles, California cites fears of many Los Angeles residents that “these shoes indicate sites at which drugs are sold or worse yet, gang turf,” and that city and utility employees had launched a program to remove the shoes. These explanations have the ring of urban legend to them, especially since the practice also occurs along relatively remote stretches of rural highways that are unlikely scenes for gang murders or crack houses.

Other, less sinister, explanations have been ventured for the practice. Some claim that shoes are flung to commemorate the end of a school year, or a forthcoming marriage as part of a rite of passage. In Scotland, it has been said that when a young man has lost his virginity he tosses his shoes over telephone wires to announce this to his peers. It has been suggested that the custom may have originated with members of the military, who are said to have thrown military boots, often painted orange or some other conspicuous color, at overhead wires as a part of a rite of passage upon completing basic training or on leaving the service.

In some neighborhoods, shoes tied together and hanging from power lines or tree branches signify that someone has died. The shoes belong to the dead person. The reason they are hanging, legend has it, is that when the dead person’s spirit returns, it will walk that high above the ground, that much closer to heaven. Another superstition holds that the tossing of shoes over the power lines outside of a house is a way to keep the property safe from ghosts.

So the moral of the story…goodness know why “shoe flinging” exists…make up your own reason, and I’m sure it’s about as accurate as all the other possibilities…but if nothing else, add it to the list of “Things that make you go hmmmmm….” 🙂